| Have patients cutie |
I just realized an 8th grader is flirting with me on FB and I’m sitting here flirting back obliviously…. Dear Lord. I have issues
I’m completely numb. I don’t really feel anything and I don’t know how to describe it either…
This feeling is making me want anyone. Even the ones who have done the worst to me. But at this point I don’t care. Anything is better than nothing. It has nothing to do with wanting a “boyfriend”. More of just having someone there who is willing to listen to what’s going on in my life without judgment and who will actually understand. That’s hard to fine. There’s really only one person but it feels like she’s forever far away. People say “I’m here for you” but I don’t believe it. There’s honestly no one. I feel so alone because I am. So completely and utterly alone. It’s the worst feeling there is.
I have no motivation to do anything. I’m aways fucking exhausted like I want to fall over. I feel like there’s nothing to look forward too anymore. Nothing get’s me excited or happy. Nothing at all. Even if someone tired to listen. i wouldn’t believe them. Everyone has either left or just says it to be nice. But hey I guess that’s life right? Guess I should just move on with my life. Everyone else feels like this too? I should just stop complaining and shut up already. I know it gets old fast. It’s pathetic and annoying I know. I annoy myself about everyday. I’d like to go to some tropical island, but first blow like 200 dollars on new bikinis and then go. Lay on the beach with no one else around. Peace and quiet as I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. My favorite thing in the world. No body to criticize every fucking mistake I make in my life. It’s so annoying. Just stop talking and leave me the fuck alone already. I’d like to live in a quiet apartment by myself across the country in California away from all the assholes here in Florida.
Being in the house all week and then having nothing to do lets me have time to think and thinking in my case isn’t good. If just makes me feel shittier. Especially at night like this being suck at home. Lolololololol at my sad life. Ya know the sound of my lap top running is actually quite relaxing. Hahaha, that’s sad. Plus the only kind of outside warmth I get is from my lap top too. I think I’m just gonna purpose to it. That relationship would probably be better than any other one. Probably have another one of these up later. I can’t think straight right now. Everything is going through my head at once right now and it hurts like hell. Peace dolls
